This truth may hurt, but if you want to make a change in your life, but feel stuck on account of fear, there is no one to blame but yourself. Yes, you are the biggest obstacle to stepping into your power and ultimately your enhanced personal happiness.
Here’s the deal, you don’t need to beat yourself up about being stuck in fear. We ALL allow ourselves to feel stuck at times. The challenge is simply to move through it. And trust me when I say there is NOTHING to hold you in fear except YOU.
Let’s agree that you are ready to commit to moving through fear to live the life you truly desire. How do you get past yourself, and your fear, to transform your life? Here are first steps to get you started:
1. Stop the Blame Game
Whether you are blaming your circumstances, the people in your life, or fear itself, just stop it. The first step to moving through fear is understanding that only you are responsible for the daily choices you make in your life.
Are you blaming your boss for feeling stuck in a dead-end job? Are you blaming the lack of finances for not starting the business you’ve dreamed of for years? No matter what the situation just remember, Bravehearts, that you are not the victims of circumstance.
If you don’t like the conditions you are in, you must first take responsibility for the choices that got you to where you are. Accountability doesn’t mean belittling yourself. It simply means accepting yourself where you are, deciding what you prefer instead, and taking the first step to moving you in the direction of your desire. The first step is followed by the next, and the next, and the next….
2. Get to the Root of Your Fear
Ask yourself, “What am I really afraid of?” After all, you are your first line of defense on your road to happiness. You are the gatekeeper to any future you choose. Every time you think of what you want to do or wish you could have, you are the one who ultimately decides the best next step. You choose if you move forward with your dream or let it fall by the wayside.
Can’t put your finger on the fear? Ask yourself this question instead, “When did I first feel the fear?” Look closely at what was going on in your life at the time, and follow your intuitive associations to make meaningful connections.
When you identify the root of your fear, then you can begin the steps of releasing it. If you are looking for more questions to help you examine your fear and haven’t yet downloaded my free transformation kit from my homepage, jump over and grab it. You’ll get the ebook How to Activate Your Braveheart: 28 Questions to Transform Your Life, plus a couple of meditation audios. I dedicate one section of the ebook to “courage” and included questions that make it easier to let go of the fear and focus on living courageously instead!
3. Visualize the Outcome You Want
It’s easy to get stuck on the scary “What If’s” in life and forget to turn it all around to focus on the amazing possibilities. Taking a few minutes to turn the hypothetical around can be very powerful and motivating. When you allow yourself to visualize the outcome, that locks you into the essence of already having it.
Let’s say you’ve identified the fear of failure as the root factor in deciding not to start the business you have always dreamed of. Each time you allow that fear to delay your next steps, you are sabotaging your dreams. What to do instead? Turn your inner dialog around and explore the opposing argument.
Isn’t it going to feel great once I’ve launched my business and see it begin to take off? Wouldn’t it feel great if my success could be a positive influence on other women who are facing the same fear? Wouldn’t it be amazing if my business grew exponentially to the point that I could set up a fund to help jump start female entrepreneurs? And one of my all-time favorites, how much better can this get?!
Now, doesn’t that feel better?
4. Praise Yourself and Everyone Else
If you are always looking for what’s right instead what’s wrong, you’re going to find a lot of opportunities for praise. Acknowledge the progress you make — that phone call you didn’t think you could make. That audition you didn’t believe that you could attend. Every time you confront your fears, no matter how small, give yourself some love! You go, Braveheart! When you give yourself praise, you love yourself. You nurture yourself. There is nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back! Praise yourself — especially when you’ve moved past your limiting beliefs. Not only does that give you permission to shine, but it also encourages others to do the same.
Speaking of others, make it a habit to acknowledge your biggest supporters. The first person to give you a thumbs up or leave a glowing comment. When you recognize the good in those around you, especially those who support you, then everyone wins.
5. Just Do It
To borrow from the famous Nike tagline, at some point you’re just going to have to strap on your favorite sports shoes and jump in with both feet. You’re going to have to trust that, when you follow your passion, only good can come of it. That doesn’t mean there won’t be challenging moments. What it does mean is that, in hindsight, you will be proud of yourself for not allowing your limiting beliefs to stand in your way.
Once you begin to confront your fears and step through them, you’ll find that it gets easier each time. So Braveheart, what fear are you going to confront first?