There’s nothing worse than feeling like an outsider, an invisible face in the crowd. It’s even more painful when you feel invisible around those closest to you—family and friends. The worse thing you can do if you feel invisible is to victimize yourself. Instead, find your voice and speak up.
The Power of “I feel” Statements
There’s a reason why therapists and life coaches suggest that you use “I feel” statements; they are effective. Why? They allow you to take responsibility for your feelings rather than victimize yourself by blaming your feelings on the words or behavior of someone else.
For example, you might say to your partner, “I feel invisible when we go out together, and you huddle together on the other side of the room in conversation with your friends. What would it take for you to stay with me and talk or at least invite me over?”
What’s beautiful about this statement is it allows the speaker to openly share and then invites the listener to respond.
Because your words aren’t accusative, i.e., why do you always abandon me for your friends when we go out, it allows the listener to understand the speaker’s feelings and consider a solution. The “I feel” statement creates an opening for dialog and we all know that open communications are imperative in healthy relationships.
There are a number of scenarios where you may feel isolated or invisible, and it never feels good. If this feeling resonates with you, make a promise to yourself to look for ways to change the way you feel.
Eckhart Tolle writes in The Power of Now that if you “find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.” If you think about when you feel most invisible, consider which of Tolle’s options would work best. If you wish to change the situation, then communicating your feelings and creating a dialog about best next steps is imperative.
Deepak Chopra writes an article on oprah.com on what to do when you feel invisible. His suggestions for how to dissect the feeling and the strategy for addressing change is definitely worth reading.
Nobody wants to feel invisible. If this describes you, then consider how you can take responsibility for your feelings and create the change you want to see. You deserve to be an active participant in your life.
What’s your next step to becoming seen and heard?
Sheila Callaham is an author, motivational coach, and longtime communications and change management professional. She invites you to join the Braveheart community on Facebook and Twitter for more inspiration!